Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Neckties and Fashion



I was working some really good hours in patrol. I had weekends off, life was good, until the command staff decided to reorganize the department. Well with this re alignment they did away with "power shift" and the weekend days off were scaled back.

There were two openings in our investigation division. Funny thing is, no one applied for the job, probably because of some conflict that was on-going, you know personalities. Well, I was approached by a friend who worked up there about coming up. I declined the invite and told him about all the rumors that were being shared.

The Lieutenant of Investigations, seen me chatting with someone in the hallway. He comes and tells me, that the Captain wanted to see me. OK, I will check in with him and I continued to chat. The Lt. came back and said the Captain needs to see you now! Well I guess he can't wait, so I walk on down to his office and the door shuts behind me. So it is the Lt. and the Captain and me. So they start laying in on me about how good I am and why I wasn't applying for the investigator position and I am wasting my time by not doing nothing and it was straight out of good cop bad cop.

Well, I have nothing to loose, so I told them all the rumors that were flying around, and how I did not want the drama. They addressed each and every rumor, Captain probably did not know half of what was going on (Sgt. Youngster drama). Anyway, They basically promised me what I wanted, except for that private refrigerator filled with Dr Pepper. So, I went to my other buddy who also is an old head and he was looking for a shift to go to. Me and him came from another department and was hired in the same class. He is like a brother to me, known him over 20 years and we always get into sh*t together. We both decided to go and become Detectives.

Oddly, we were chosen to fill the two open positions. We were told at the "interview" that we would not be "shoe ins", except no one else applied for the positions........

Well we started on January 2nd and that same week a memo came out about all Investigators shall now wear neck ties. New rule, and a rule that if we both knew was coming we would have declined the positions. I am a person that has worn a neck tie about 5 times in my entire life. I don't even know how to tie one. (thanks to the internet, I found out how)

We had a little get together over lunch to decide how we are going to address this new requirement. There were 3 of us who have never worn one before and were not happy. Sgt. Youngster would be no help and the other Sargent was off on short term medical.

An idea was born, the memo says neck ties, so we will where neck ties. The most cheesiest, brightest, sickest, silliest, grossest, stupidest, neck ties we can find. We will pick who wins the tie of the day award. So with ties going for 20 dollars and up, what is a poor detective going to do? The thrift store! So me and my partner go into the barrio and start tie shopping, we got some really really fantastic ties. I found a pig tie, yes you heard it right a pig tie. Hummmm, cop, pig, perfect!

We named our cheap two dollar ties the "Harrisburg" collection because that is the name of the road the store is on and it sounds classy. I think the entire Department knew about our scheme except for the command staff. We have wore some of the funniest ties around, my partner has a daisy tie (better him then me) that is really bright. Unfortunately the order still stands but we have fun with it. We have purchased a lot of the Jerry Garcia ties on EBay real cheap, and they have some class to them. I do keep one or two conservative ties in my desk for that just in case meeting with another agency or court personnel.

So, if you have any neck ties to get rid of.....................

7 comments:

Jason said...

I have a Star Wars neck tie if you want to wear it.

H2o said...

Now you have to show us pictures...

Ky Long Rider said...

I used to have the "Rush Limbaugh" collection but my wife, God bless her, threw them out. I may be able to find a University of Kentucky tie for you but I suspect you'd be breaking the 11th commandment in Texas by wearing it.

Jillian said...

lol..nice way to turn a "negative" into a "positive"...and add FUN to the workplace...

sooo question..when someone gets a new tie is it a "big deal"? lol do you compliment each other on your ties?....

i will now keep my eyes open for unique ties hahahaha

Rebecca said...

LOL! Lovely tie.

I have to admit, the detectives look sharp in their suits and ties, but I kinda have to laugh when I see them on TV digging through grisly, dirty crime scenes in their crisp white shirts and Sunday dress pants.

USA_Admiral said...

Yeah, we will need photographic evidence!

That will be a lot of fun. Pig tie will be hard to beat.

Jealous Bitch said...

I am BETTING EVERYONE that I can beat the pig tie. One stop at a novelty store in the Castro section here in San Francisco(google it, people), and I'll bring you a tie that will make jaws drop.

When I get to Texas, you'll get your tie, dude!